do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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