you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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