Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I touched a dick in church today
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
