I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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