"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
