i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
