If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
