Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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