Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
