First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
