My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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