I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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