Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
