There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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