if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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