He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
