We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
