His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
