I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
