Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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