So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
