if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Too much gin, very little bucket
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
