I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
