just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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