I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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