Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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