Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
