It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
