dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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