Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There r osticjed everywhere
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
