so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
