Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
