I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize