Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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