i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
