how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
