i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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