K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
