you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
