In the future we'll all be gay
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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