Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You don't make any sense
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