yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
