U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
