Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize