I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
