can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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