I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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