Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
