Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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