I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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