There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
