i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
