I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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