There was a lot of him and a little penis
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
