I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
