just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
