I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
