Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
