How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just forgot I was standing up.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
