the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
