What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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