At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
