Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
