A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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