you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
