Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
