I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
