When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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