im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
