My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
And then my night got REAL pukey
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize